


A letter to a Drunk.

by courtneyXgrace



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-04-17 16:27:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4673558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/courtneyXgrace/pseuds/courtneyXgrace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a letter to my father, after 19 years of keeping quiet, and faking smiles, i needed to do something. I don't know if ill ever send this to him. Maybe. Idk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A letter to a Drunk.

_**Dear Dad,**  _

**When I was little, you were the savior that I needed but never had. You were a revolving door of in and out, back and forth. A hopeless plea of _"Maybe if i try this"_ or " _maybe if I'm better at that"_ You were a shadow, leaning slumped against a wall. It wasn't all bad. There were the in-betweens. When lullabies would rock us to sleep, so unlike the usual sounds of glass breaking, laughter making way to screaming. **

**There were days when i thought everything was going to be ok. Looking back, i can see that it was just a calm. something to corner us into** **false senses of comfort and peace. It would brake away into whisky soaked shirts, vodka scented breath, and beer soaked hair. The lullabies were traded in for bit lips, small flinches, and whispers of _"Its ok Daddy" "Its not your fault dad"_ and  _"Ill clean it, don't worry. Why don't you watch TV?"_**

**As i got older, I wished for the man who would just walk around the block with me , the man who taught me how to walk safely in the woods-the only place i never seem to slip-, the man who sat me on his lap at five years old and let me "drive". I held out hope for this man. Thirteen years of wishes made in secret on candles and star shaped airplanes.**

**Over time i slowly lost hope. The days of in-betweens got shorter and shorter. We would scream things designed to cut straight through. I was blinded by pain and heartache. We got good at pretending the mornings after. Yet I'm sure you felt my lip curl ever time one of us would turn away.**

**Things are changing again. You are getting better, everyday you seem a little bit stronger. I try so hard to seem happy and proud. And i am only, there is a little girl that would hide in corners with her hands over her eyes humming as loudly as she dared to block out the yells, still whispers in my ear. She reminds me of broken promises and hurts left to scar.**

**13 years. I had finally given up hope id ever see the man i so desperately ached for. I can see him slowly returning to your eyes, one chip at a time. Yet that spark of hope still fills me with dread. I hope you understand why. The words we have said, and haven't, just seem to draw a line. Im slowly letting go, buts its going to take time.**

**Maybe the last 19 years have been full of battles fought silently and shamefully. I hope that the next 19 years that they are fought proudly, and out loud, maybe someday ill be strong enough to stand beside you. But for now ill lean against this shadow, and cheer for you in silence.**

 

**- _Sincerely, A Drunks Daughter._**


End file.
